Bye bye Baby

It's been an emotional couple of days. I am officially no longer a Mama to a baby. I have graduated to Mama of a toddler.  I could hold off on labeling her that until she started to walk... but the time has come. Yes, my little Dolly has started taking her first tentative steps independently. She's getting so brave that she actually let go of my hand herself yesterday evening and wobbled off. I was overcome with the desire to cheer and sob uncontrollably, all at once. I went with cheering.

It's also been emotional because today marks her first official day in creche. I left her for two hours last week and the little rip didn't even flinch when I said goodbye to her. Had a great time for herself and didn't want to come home. She actually screeched and shook her head when I said "come on let's go". But this morning she broke my heart! As I was leaving her she started to cry. The only time she ever says Mama is when she's crying so her parting gift to me was a big fat wobbly lip and a howled and pained cry of MaaaaaMmmmmmaaaaaaaa.

I am currently sitting at the kitchen table fighting the urge to go check on her. The rational part of me knows that all that stopped within five minutes of my leaving.  The unrational side is planning on handing in my notice before I even get my start date and staying with her forever and ever amen... I am glad I am not prone to overreacting.

The third and final reason it's been emotional is that I have finally accepted that seeing as my baby is now a toddler, I can no longer be claiming to be still carrying baby weight. I must acknowledge that I am just carrying weight and putting the word baby in front of it doesn't make it cute! It is time.... as I sat on my couch on Saturday night rubbing the food baby that was growing in my tummy I realised there's only one thing for it.... surgery

Ah no,  that's a bit drastic... gonna head on back to my local weight watchers and give it all another good solid bash!

Pass me a Soap Box - I need a rant

This evening has been a feckin disaster with my favourite tiny human.  As you are aware from previous posts, sleeping has been troublesome, to say the least, in the last number of days but we appear to be moving out of that phase and into a new more acceptable stage.  Until this evening that is. Until the local feckin Mr. Whippy Van came booting his way around the estate, blaring his out of tune theme song from Yankee Doodle or something stupid and frightened the shite (literally) out of the poor child. She had been out for the count and this feckin fool woke her at 8.30pm.

Now, I have a number of questions here. If your stupid music is so loud that it can be heard through noise cancelling triple glaze windows, do you think maybe it's too loud?

Also, it's the 13th May. What child is out on the road at 8.30pm on the 13th of May?

Furthermore, who is going to fling their front door wide open at 8.30pm on a chilly Wednesday evening declaring "Iscream, youscream, we all scream for icecream" and purchase 99's for their sleeping or about to sleep children?

It took us nearly two hours to settle the poor love back to sleep. Two flippin hours. I tell you, I'll give Mr Whippy a good feckin whippin if he bursts into this estate tomorrow night...

*I am aware that I sound like a grumpy old biddy...

Toddlers... The Persistent Game Changers

Toddlers... For tiny humans, they sure can keep you on your toes. Every time I think I have this parenthood thing licked, my lovely little Dolly takes a look and her Mum and Dad and declares to her little toddler self "ha! Got the hang of me now have you? I'll show you!"and then bam! The game changes completely.

I didn't want to say anything, because the last time I verbalised it (or typed it) she up ended everything on me, but Holly had been sleeping from 7 to 7 for nearly two weeks straight.  Then, for another two weeks straight, she started to sleep 7 to 8! Oh my God. I couldn't believe my wonderful luck! It was amazing...

But as I have said many times "this too shall pass". And pass it has. For the last week she has decided that she will only sleep from 7.30pm until circa 9.30pm. She will proceed to scream the house down until she gets out of her room for ten minutes and given a top up of a bottle.  Then she will sleep till 11.30pm and scream and scream until she is in the bed beside me and her poor Dad is in the spare room. She has adopted his side of the bed, so much so that she pokes him in the face if he's in her spot. She will happily fall asleep beside until 6.30am have a bottle and go back to sleep at 7am until 10am.

Thus leading me to the conclusion that I do not, in fact, have this parenthood thing licked. The only thing I have licked is her feckin soother as I pick it up off the floor and "clean" the germs off it.

I liked to believe that it was I that had her under control, but I beginning to think that it is the other way around.  I also used to think I was the Queen of World and the Boss of Everything... But I now accepted that I have been ousted from my throne.

7 Questions you should ask yourself at the end of every day

Earlier today I was reading an article on www.huffingtonpost.com about the seven questions we should ask ourselves at the end of every day. Here goes:

What did I learn today?

Today I  learnt two things; 

There is nothing quiet like a bum shuffling, no shoe wearing toddler to highlight just how clean your floors aren't.  My lovely little Dolly has a streak of not so white where she shuffles along the floor. Perhaps I should make more out of that investment in the Vax Steam mop which was made earlier in the year. Can I say that I am building her immune system?

I was already mildly aware of this, but when I have studying to do I can procrastinate like no bodies business.  In the hour my Dolly was having her afternoon nap I made pancakes for her to have for a snack, marinaded sliced up pieces of steak for an elaborate steak sandwich for our dinner and contemplated cleaning out the "mess press" in the kitchen that contains recipes, nail varnish, hen party bunny ears and who knows what other array of crap.

How do I feel?

I feel happy with a dull ache of anxiety at having procrastinated so much while my little Dolly was in bed this afternoon. Really should have made more of an effort to do that studying... 

How did I make others feel today?

Well now, to be fair, I haven't really asked anyone I dealt with but my guess is amazing. Yep. I reckon everyone that has encountered my happy face today feels amazing. What can I say, I am a ray of sunshine on a permanent basis.  I have spent time with two friends, a husband, three toddlers and new-ish born and spoke to a lady in Meteor customer care and I am positive that if you were to speak to any of the above they would confirm how amazing they felt in my presence.

What can I do better tomorrow?

I could probably make a bigger effort with the studying malarkay. And definitely try and make a dent on my odd job to do list (uh-oh... I sense some more procrastination, is that a fridge freezer that needs defrosting??)

What am I grateful for? 

I am grateful for a lot. My health, my husbands health, my daughters health, the friends and family that have been so amazing to me, especially since I became a mother and realised how important they all are, the sun (cause I'll get the feckin washing dry), having a cup of tea from start to finish with no interruptions this afternoon, calpol and nurofen. I have a lot to be very thankful for and I am always a "count your blessings" kind of gal.

How much stress did I experience today?

Considering I am parent to a "wobbler" (a toddler that's learning to walk, and boy oh boy is she a wobbler) I haven't experienced a lot of stress today. We had a dodgy moment when she had a fight with a bag that wouldn't open, but apart from that we were nice and relaxed today.

What made me smile?

Finishing that cup of tea. Seeing my Dolly playing with the other toddlers. Seeing my friends and having a go of the new-ish born baby. He did cause my womb to give a little thud of desire for another tenant, but then my Dolly start whinging at me and that silenced it.

So that was my day. Apparently, asking these questions every day will help us all to be more positive and optimistic and sure we could all do with a little more positivity and optimism in our lives right? 

It's been sixteen glorious months

It really has been glorious! It has been fifteen months since I did a taxable days work.  Granted, three of them months were spent trying to prevent my pelvis from splitting in two, two of them days was spent pushing a tiny human through a tinier hole and one more month was spent in a flurry of hormones and lady aches.  But, nonetheless, it's been sixteen months.

It's the first time since I began working back in the 90's in Roches Stores that I have not been on a taxable job. I say a taxable job because, while I have been untaxed, I can promise you I have never worked as hard in my life! Or being as rewarded for my work either.  But I digress...

I have had the privilege of being at home for all this time with my little love. I have had the honor of spending the last thirteen months being the one to watch my little one grow and change from this floppy headed, screaming, puking bundle to a hilariously entertaining, walking, babbling toddler. And my God can she babble.  From the moment she opens her eyes until she closes them, gooble-dee-gook all day. Think she gets the chatterbox head from her Dad. 

But the time has come. I am ready to return to the work place and have, happily, secured myself a position.  It is quiet the ideal position. Part time to begin with, four mornings a week and one full day, until the end of the year. Then full time from there. It'll be grand to ease myself back into the work place. And of course ease herself into creche life. I am both excited and nervous at the thought of returning to work.  My head has been all about Mama life for the last fifteen months. I have enjoyed it so much. Not worrying about deadlines and reports and meetings and only concerned with food, nappies, sleep routines, feeding routines, temperatures, vomiting, pooh-ing, washing, cleaning, cooking... sure it'll be like a holiday going back to work! 

One of the things I am most looking forward to is coffee breaks and lunches.  Imagine! Being able to finish a cup of coffee before it goes cold and grey. And lunch! A whole meal without anyone wanting to eat what I am eating and the only one likely to destroy me with the contents of it is me! I am most excited about this!!! 

In preparation for my return to work, I have decided to  take on the challenge of a bit of study. And by a bit of study I actually mean a FETAC Level 6 Diploma in Event Management. And as I do love a challenge, I have signed up to completing the studying and submission of assessments for this course by 30 June 2015. So, given that I can calm the temper tantrum of a one year old as she fights with the lid of her toy teapot for not opening far enough, completion of this course will be a piece of cake!

Delightfully, and in wonderful timing fashion, my little Dolly decided that last Friday was the day she was going to start walking sort of independently.  She took off with a little walker thing like a bat out of hell and my once nervous nelly is now so confident it is bordering on cocky.  She is now walking along furniture, moving between furniture, walking along walls. 

Basically, we are screwed! We need stair gates and plug blockers (in another life I could have made a very rude comment here), lift everything that is at tiny human height and bolt anything that moves to the floor or wall. I've already lost a beautiful vase... but that was probably more to my cleaning abilities than the child. So it's all go in the McCarthy household!