Tuesday, 28 April 2015
Voting yes to equality for marriage shows that we no longer see homosexuality as "different". It means that everyone, no matter who you love, gets to stand up in front of all their friends and family and commit to that love until death do they part. The day I got married was the second happiest day of my life, pipped only by the day we brought our daughter into the world. Why on earth shouldn't everyone, every last person in this country, have the right to do that if they wish?
I have seen some of the "No Side" posters, one of which says "don't redefine marriage". But I think this referendum shows that for some, marriage does need to be redefined. It is the perfect time for those of us born with the right to marry who we want to stop, take a good long look and appreciate what a privilege it is to posses this right. It is a privilege that my husband got down on one knee and and said the words "will you marry me". It was one of the most beautiful sentences that has ever been uttered to me. I am pretty sure the words "will you civil partnership me" has a far less romantic re-tell value... I didn't have to fight for the right to commit to my husband. No one had to hold a referendum for me to do it. I didn't have to sit and wait impatiently for news that a law has been passed condoning our love and commitment to one another. This debate makes me appreciate how easy it was for us, and makes me realise how much I want it to be that easy for everyone. Maybe redefining how those of us with the right to marry see marriage will make people more respectful of it?
Since having my daughter, these issues have become so much more important to me. Equality for all is the most important thing to me now. Who's to say that my little girl is not going to fall in love with someone else's little girl? Does that mean that we, as parents, should be robbed of the pride of walking her down an aisle and giving her away to that love? I want my children, however many I am blessed with, to know that it is ok to be who you are. I don't want them to hide from themselves. I want them to embrace it. And, if they do love the same sex, I want them to have the same rights they would have if they loved the opposite sex.
Love is love. Let's all get out on the 22nd May and vote Yes! Let's be part of a positive change in this country. One we can stand up and be proud of. One that our kids and every other generation afterwards can be grateful for.
As Macklemore and Ryan Lewis once said " No Freedom till we are all equal"...
Monday, 20 April 2015
Yes. It has changed me! I am not going to tell you about how much I love it and all that stuff. I am going to tell you how it has left my reputation as a party loving booze hound in feckin tatters on the floor. Tatters I tell you.
I headed off for a weekend away with all the ladies in my family, with the exception of the ones that couldn't make it and who were sorely missed. Off I trotted full of excitement and enthusiasm for the party train I was planning on boarding. And board that party train I did. Two days and two nights of drinking and shopping and all the fun and irresponsible things I used to love to do Pre - holly. Such was my enthusiasm, that I ignored the party train drivers advice and refused to get off at the earlier stops resulting in me having the hangover of all hangovers. Oh my goodness.
I woke on Saturday morning with none of the bright eyed excitement of Friday morning. I did not have a clear view of fun and frolics. Instead I awoke with bloodshot peepers and a gross view of the hotel toilet bowl I was currently clinging to for dear life. And, thus, was my day. All day. And night and, the next day too. ..
My protests of having contracted my daughters bug fell on deaf ears and were met with cries of "that'll be the pink pussy shots you were doing". I was informed that I am no longer a "Session Moth", I'm now just an "old moth"
To say that I am heartbroken to have been defeated in this way is an understatement. My once legendary ability to drink you all under the table or die feckin trying apparently seeped out of me as I pushed that baby out.
Or, and I will maintain this until my Deathbed; I have a really bad tummy bug...
Tuesday, 14 April 2015
Good woman Pink!! Weight loss and gain is such a personal thing. There's more to it than just eating too much or not enough and moving more or not at all. I think we all need to focus more on happiness and health than the size on our dress labels!
Sunday, 12 April 2015
I saw this and I thought sometimes we need a little reminder that it is ok to have a Pile of Pants day where we are balancing on a ball of crap trying very hard not to tumble into it!!!
Take some time to show yourself the kindness you would always show to others!
Saturday, 11 April 2015
We had a lovely day. She had a little birthday party last week with both our families and then today we headed off for a family day in the zoo where I could watch her amazing reactions at the different animals and still think of how I felt as I lay in the hospital bed amazed that we had made this little tiny human. Then she start to whinge like nobody's business and the magic was gone - isn't that always the way with children?!!
So, with all that in mind, I have also been thinking about everything I have learned in the last year and the things I wish someone would have told me before I had a baby...
- You will not automatically feel like yourself after having the baby. As much as you can't wait to be your 'old self', it's not going to happen for a long long long long long time. I wish I had have known that and not put myself under pressure to look like my old self and act like my old self before my body and mind was ready.
- The first couple of weeks are the hardest. It took 10 weeks to get herself into a routine. Before that it was mayhem.
- New babies need to cry for four hours a day. You may be lucky and get a considerate tiny human that will break those four hours up over the day. We were not. In the early days she did some crying but saved up the majority of her four hours for 6pm. Then she would open her mouth, take a big deep breath and wail until 10pm. And when you don't know, you feed her. And then she does the grandest impression of the exorcist and you and your partner throw daggers at each other because you need to blame someone.
- You feel like you will never forget the bad patch your in. But you do. Until the next time your in it and think, 'eh, what did we do the last time'. Then you remember when it all calms down that these patches are about a three week cycle. But you forget that as well, until the end of the next one.
- You know when they say it is clever to stock up on the baby essentials while pregnant? Things like nappies for the different stages, sudo cream and wipes etc. Well, throw boxes and boxes and boxes of Fairy washing powder on your essential list. Why? Because no one ever ever warns you about the washing. In 12 months I have never seen the bottom of my wash basket. Ever. I mean I am pretty sure my lovely top that has mysteriously vanished is at the bottom of that basket being used by some micro-organisims as a colony from which they are planning to take over the world... Gross, I know.
- Pooh becomes an acceptable thing for you to discuss. I remember working with a girl and every time we sat down to lunch she would go into great details about the contents of her childrens nappies. It would put me right off whatever I was about to sink my teeth into and I would get hangry (hunger induced anger) and hate her. Apparently, she isn't a weirdo. It is what mothers do. At least this mother has the decency not to discuss it over lunch...
- You may never fit into your old shoes again... It is twelve months on and I still don't fit into all my lovely size 4 shoes. I look at my pretty shoes that I used to love and I grieve their loss.
- When you are told "oh my baby slept through the night from (some ridiculously young age)", ask them the qualify that. Ask them how many nights. I bet you anything they didn't sleep seven nights a week. This question will stop you feeling inadequate and googling the life out of sleep training.
- No one talks about the difficult recovery side of child birth. Like how I felt like I had been turned inside out and scrubbed with a scour brush. No one told me that would happen. Also, no one told me how delicate my "down theres" would feel afterwards. I remember walking through a shopping center and actually thinking everything was going to fall off onto the floor and I would have to scoop it all up and have it reattached. I nearly wanted to walk about with a cooler with me, in case it did fall off and I had to treat it like a chopped off finger and fling it on a bit of ice to keep it from going bad so it could be reattached.
- Ask for help. All kinds of help. Allow people to sit with you when things are new and just be there when your doing what you have to do. It makes you feel so much better. I had my mum, my mother in law and my best friend on speed dial for weeks. I would ring them about EVERYTHING and sometimes I would just ring and sob incoherently down the phone and say thanks at the end of the call. Even though they didn't understand I single thing I said!
- You will never know a love like it. It changes everything.
- It's ok to be happy to leave them. A break is good for you and good for the baby. Don't feel guilty if you don't fell guilty when you leave them!
- Get bibs... lots and lots and lots of bibs. Millions of them.
- The clocks changing ruin your life.
- Finally, have the words "This Too Shall Pass" displayed somewhere you will see them daily. I was contemplating a tattoo on my forehead but your not always guaranteed to look in a mirror every day and if you happen to have the baby in your arms at the time you do look in the mirror you will not look at yourself. I can promise you that forever more, when your child is in that mirror, that's what you look at. Which is good because then you don't have to add panic about your caterpillar-esque eyebrows that are starting to blow in the wind to your list of things that need to be done! So may!be put them on the kettle or something
Thursday, 9 April 2015
12 months ago things were very different! For starters, I can see my toes. I couldn't see them this time last year because I had the biggest bump in the world. This time 12 months ago I was sitting on an exercise ball bouncing like a mad woman while simultaneously eating a curry and pleading with my husband to do his husbandly duty and get our baby moving. I can't for the life of me think how he could have possibly declined my smouldering advances! Fast forward to today and I am flying to London for a night with my wonderful friend, leaving my almost one year old at home with himself! I have a glass of vino in my hand and I am anticipating a wonderful break. Although perhaps I might be a bit cheeky with this impromptu trip considering I was away last weekend and am heading away next weekend. But sure as a full time mama don't I deserve it?
Saturday, 4 April 2015
I think I may need to drop a copy of the theme tune to Neighbours in next door... I am beginning to immensely dislike them.
Next door there is a mother and two teenager girls. Last summer there was nothing but hassle. My front door was egged, my kitchen window was egged and my car was egged all by their hormone raging, bum fluff growing mates that roamed in and out of the house all summer. They spend most of their time screaming and banging. I swear to God, I hope no one ever breaks in and they scream for help because we will literally just think its their usual nightly behaviour. Their screaming and shouting and banging and, what I can only assume from the sound of it, furniture rearranging at some unearthly hour of the night is so loud that it is picked up by the baby monitor.
There are nights I have gone and checked on Holly before bed only to realise that they are so loud they might as well be standing over her cot shouting at her.
Thankfully, she is a child that could sleep through the apocalypse, a trait she inherited in equal parts from her mother and father. But every now and then the noise levels are so high that the poor child wakes up thinking the world is coming to an end in a blaze of teenage angst.
Last night I lost it. They were partaking in their usual 1am furniture shuffle and shout and it woke me and the baby. I hit the roof. I flew from my warm cozy bed and down the stairs, out the door and hammered on their door like a crazed banshee with homeless hair.
Teenagers are rude. I don't ever remember being rude like this. Not even slightly afraid of this sleep disturbed woman standing in front of them. I mean, not that I like to admit it and if they said it to me I would vehemently defend myself, but to them I am old and should, therefore, be feared. But they didn't care. Not one bit.
So I fumed back to bed vowing to make all the noise in the world today to disturb their sleeps. Little witches...
I am currently looking at houses. There are very specific requirements;
In the middle of no where
A fireplace that works
A moate to ensure no neighbours can be built in the vicinity of my new house