The value of Privacy

Privacy, it's one of those things you don't really think about until it's gone. Today, as I went to the bathroom with an audience, running commentary and uttering eight words I never in my wildest dreams thought I would say in the same sentence; "no pet, Mammy will wipe her own bum", I realised that my privacy is gone, and I miss it. I had often heard tell of inquisitive toddlers accompanying parents to the loo.  I never actually thought that they do it. And that they also question you, head cocked to one side, hands up asking "wee wee?? Pooh pooh?"

Today I remember fondly all the shampoo bottles I have read, all the lonely and unaccompanied wee wees I've had and look forward to going to work tomorrow, if only for a smidgen of privacy!

Only 8 Days till Christmas...

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree, your looking very Christmassy...

I can't believe there are only eight days till the big day.  This is all very exciting let me tell you.   Time has been shooting away from me.  It's been four days since I got weighed and I am only getting around to posting about it now! But before all that, let me fill you in on the last two weeks.

I had my Christmas party two weeks ago.  It was a grand night.  We had some crazy "entertainment" and booze galore for most of the night.  I walked the legs off myself and me and one of my besties ended up partying the night away in a London casino till the wee hours of the morning.  The result? I died a holy death. I mean, the worst hangover I have had in years and years.  It took me 40 minutes to complete a 15 minute walk from where I was staying to where I work. Sweet divine baby Jesus my flight home was horrific. I swear to God I had the little paper bag poised and ready.  When the plane hit turbulence I was instantly thrown back to that time I went on Space Mountain in Disney land Paris and wished I was dead... Some poor man sitting beside me was rubbing my arm reassuring me that it was only a bit of turbulence and all would be well.  I think he took the beads of sweat racing down my face in a marathon to see which one sploshed onto my lap first as a sign that I thought the plane was going down in flames. Thankfully, I managed to make it to solid ground and the privacy of a cubicle before I made a holy show of myself.  I got home, prayed that the baby would be easy for me, which she was, put her to bed at 6.30pm (this is her usual bed time, not the 'mammy has a hangover and can't be dealing with you' bed time) and I lay on the couch and begged for death. When death didn't take me, I rang for a Chinese and prayed it would stay down.  It must have been all my walking and what not because when I got weighed after that weekend I maintained. And when your in the throws of party season, you can't be sniffing at a maintenance.

On to this week.  Well I walked and stepped and lifted my way through the week like a mad woman.  I achieved 1,000,000 steps since 30th August 2015 and decided to achieve 2,000,000 steps by 6th March 2016 (that's 2 million in total, just so we are clear!)

This has given me a real boost to get moving and keep moving over the Christmas. What has also given me a boost is this little ensemble I wore to my father in law's 60th birthday bash 

I felt really great heading out on Saturday night. And I had a great night as a result of all my hard work. I did not feel so great on Sunday. Oh God, I thought the hangovers had left me. But they haven't.  I do not recover well anymore.  I had offered to do a big chicken curry for day two of my father in laws celebrations, and as I stood there, hungover to bejaysis, cutting up those chicken boobs, I genuinely thought I was going to pass out into the raw chicken and get food poisoning. I didn't, but it nearly happened.  I think I must have drank about 50 liters of water and I was still thirsty!!!  

All my hard work paid off, because when I got weighed on Monday, I was informed that I had lost 2.5lb! I'm delighted with myself! I am now 1lb off my stone and I want it on Monday.  I will go into the Christmas week with my stone in my hand. 

With Christmas week fast approaching us, my plan is in place on how to cope with the excess food and drinking. I  am allowing myslef three free days and the rest will be like any other day of the week.  And I have my challenge to continue with, 11,111 steps per day to achieve the goal of 1 million more steps in March. 

Weight Day; The Result

Weigh day has come and gone. I had a day off work yesterday and I decided that I was going to use that day to go to my class and get my hair done.  Getting my hair done was out of necessity rather than desire.  The other day someone told me that the balayage in my hair was lovely... I didn't want to tell them that what they were actually looking at was nearly five months worth of re-growth... I said thank you very much and, with a slight hint of red to my face, picked up the phone and made an appointment to get regain control of my mane! Once upon a time the thought of sitting in a hairdressers for two hours doing nothing would have filled me with dread.  I was never able to fully relax into the experience, I wanted it over and done with as quickly as possible.  These days, well, it's a completely different experience.  Two whole hours of not having to wipe a nose or change a bum.  Two whole hours of reading trashy mag after trashy mag, and they were all in date too so it wasn't months old news I was reading either! I got two cups of tea handed to me along with a couple of Roses, which I politely declined. Then the lady massaged the scalp off me. I was on the verge of making very inappropriate noises when it came to a sad end. Yes, post baby, hairdressers are my new favorite place!

My pampering was almost ruined by the scales... I was half a pound up yesterday morning.  Very disappointed in that because even though I didn't put in the effort with my exercise, I did put in the effort with my food.  But, thankfully, I had measured myself on Sunday night to compare my stats to what I was 12 weeks ago and I was very happy with what I saw.

The scales may not have  been kind to me, but at least the measuring tape was.  That's 9.5 inches lost all over my body in 12 weeks and I think that's not to be sniffed at.  I can feel it in my clothes and have already dropped a dress size. I am very happy I took these measurements because I think if I hadn't, that half pound would have resulted in me saying "Feck it, where's the selection box"?  

With only four weeks left of the year, I am going to give it all I have got to start 2016 at a minimum of one stone lighter than when I started 2015.  I will go into the new year with a much smaller challenge ahead of me.  I will not throw in the towel! 

The party season is upon me and my wee diary is already filling up with fun and frolicks. I love this time of year, catching up with people and getting dolled up and just the general happiness that seems to reign supreme for most.  So as I was scooting around the interweb looking for inspiration from some of my favorite bloggers such as the very talented Skinny Doll, I stumbled across a great post from another blog called 59 Pounds to Go.  This post had a great idea for planning the festive season that I am going to get on board with.

This is my plan for tackling the party season 

My goals for December are as follows: 

Loose 4lb 

Survive Christmas with a maximum of 2lb gain 

Exercise every day 

Do a minimum of 11,500 steps per day 

Drink at least 2.5l of water per day 

Track every day 

Happy 1st of December everyone!

Weigh Day, The Result

Isn't that a wonderful little saying? And it is very true of my life at the moment.  I am impatient and impulsive and always expect changes to happen the minute I have decided to implement them. Like, if  I work out for two days in a row, I fully expect to be a size 8 with abs to die for! Even though I may have only done 6 sit ups!!!

But right now, I am slowly throwing each and everyone of my bad habits down the stairs and replacing them with good habits! Slowly!

Today is weigh day.  I went to bed last night with a faint feeling of butterflies in my tummy.  I wasn't really too sure why I was feeling excited, until I got weighed today.  I had a brilliant week. I was very good at tracking everything I ate and I worked out a good bit too. Good hard working out where your sweating from your eyeballs (or crying, whatever you wanna call it!). And it was all very much worth my while because when I approached that scales and hopped up on there, I was told that I had lost 2.5lb this week! Which means that I am now 11lb down, a dress size if you please, and in addition to this, I have lost 5% of my body weight!  Happiness reigns supreme!

I bounced out of my class delighted with myself! All my hard work really and truly paid off this week. It gave me a massive big boost and I headed off into the day to do some christmas shopping and search for a new guna for my Christmas party.  Alas, there are no party guna's anywhere to be found, and the ones that I did find, lets just say my old trick of thinking I'm smaller than I actually am was played and I found myself standing in the changing room, looking at myself buttered into an inappropriate styled dress thinking, what happened between the rail and the changing room? What? 

But it didn't dampen my mood in any way at all. I am just chuffed with myself. 

Next week will be a challenge to say the least! I have a night away on Saturday with Himself and the rest of my family to celebrate a great man in my life turning the big eight-oh! My grandfather is turning 80! I have always been aware of how truly blessed I am to have not one, but three grandparents to celebrate every year! So we are having a great big party for him and staying over in a hotel.  It is a wonderful chance to spend some much needed time with my family and to catch up with aunts and uncles and cousins that I don't get to see a lot of. So I need to work hard to make sure that I don't gain back any of that 2.5lb I lost!! 

This is all the moving I did this week and you can find a copy of my food diary for the week here

Day	Exercise
Tuesday	Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred, Level 2.  This is a work out session I am getting from You Tube
	Jessica Smith TV 30 Minute Yoga Sculpt
	10,893 Steps
Wednesday	Jessica Smith TV 30 Minute Yoga Sculpt
	Jessica Smith TV 45 Minute Cardio Ball Ballet
	11,430 Steps
Thursday	Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred Level 2
	Jessica Smith TV 30 Minute Strength Training
	7,610 Steps
Friday	Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred Level 2
	Jessica Smith TV Fat Burning Burning Belly Fusion Workout
	6,222 Steps
Saturday	4,856 Steps
Sunday	4,641 Steps
Monday	15,546 Steps

Total Steps this week:              61,198

Total KM this week:                  45.3

This road is long... today

Man oh man, some days this journey I am on is just like a never ending road trip with a really annoying, nagging companion! Today, all I could see in front of me was pounds and pounds of weight to loose and internal fight after fight to make rhe right choices (like avoiding, and failing to do so, the box of biccies my new neighbour gifted us to apologise for the noise of work happening in her house! How sweet was that in a skinny minnie thoughtless kind of way?). Today I felt like just saying feck it, I've enough, sure aren't I grand.

Then I got off the couch and I did the second day of 30 day shred level 2 and I also did another workout, which involved a side plank. I ALWAYS automatically choose the modified version of these positions, but today I decided to give it a bash. And you never guess what? I did it. On both sides. For the length of time I was meant to. With one arm up in the air. Sure I was like a pro, feck Jillian Michaels,  it's Rach Mc The DVD that'll be the best selling fitness DVD in 2016!!!!!

I swear I was utterly delighted with myself. I know to most a side plank is nothing, but it was a big achievement for me and it has helped me see the road ahead in a different light. It has reminded me to focus on getting fit and healthy and the weight loss will come with it.

In another Non Scale Victory, I had a bath tonight (victory for all in my house, the pong off me from all my side planking and jumping jacking). Anyway,  since I was about five months pregnant, I am sad to say that when I had a bath, I created what can only be described as a human dam. Water behind me would rush to freedom when I stood up. Tonight, the water flowed freely. I no longer back up the bath!! Practically svelte at this stage of the game!

Weigh Day, The Weekly Result

Yesterday was weigh day. It was a busy week of walking and travelling and a lot of drinking. The usual story, I went off to London and lost all control of myself and proceeded to drink lots of beer and eat all the wrong things. No control whatsoever! But at least that was my last trip to the UK until the Christmas Party in December, so I now can no longer blame travelling to the UK for my lack of achievements on the scales!

All things considered, I didn't gain any weight! I stayed the same so that was a little victory in itself. Clearly the 30 Day Shred challenge is paying off somewhere along the way! And perhaps the little stats below had something to do with it also!

I ate relatively well this week. I even threw in some extra veggies with some of my meals! My favourite lunch this week had to be the Pizza Boats. They were amazing! Really tasty and felt like I was getting a treat.  I had decided that I was going to attempt a new recipe every week to try and keep things fresh and prevent me sinking into a food rut. So I attempted this  Skinny Lasagne. The meat sauce was lovely, but unfortunately, I just don't like leeks.  Food textures play a big part in what I will and won't eat.  And leek is way to slimy for my taste buds.  It was a little bit disappointing after going to all that effort, but at least I tried it. From now on, lasagne will be made with good old fashioned pasta, like the Italians intended it to be!!

So, what's in store for next week? I'm going to continue with Level 2 of the 30 Day Shred. Jillian Michaels is the most irritating person in the world, but at least it makes you get through the routine with a bit of passion! I'm also going to aim for 73,000 steps as well as a couple of Jessica Smith TV routines for good measure.  I am planning on loosing 1.5lb next week and that will be achieved with lots of good food, zero point soups, prep and planning and my big big goal for next week is to track everything I eat and drink 24/7! 

6 Mondays to go until the last weigh in! I got this! 

Weigh Day: The Result

I haven't been to class in two weeks because of travelling and family life and, of course, excuses!  When I saw that my leader was off on her jolliers to Boston for a couple of days, I decided that I would give myself one more week to 'claw back' and secure a weight loss before going to my class. Then I remembered that it never works when I do that, and decided to get my backside in to face the music. And face it I did.  I went to class with no expectations. Mainly because I had a big weekend of beer and wine and very little actual working out. But I was good with food and even managed to avoid a large amount of the tricker treaters sweets! I found an amazing way of dealing with the sweets and treats lying around waiting on the dressed up little people, put it in a big pot and leave it on the door step with a note telling them to help themselves, thus avoiding me eating it and teaching the kiddies to be honest and have some self control - I was doing them the favour more than me!!! 

Anyway, I got up on the scales and was delighted to see that I had been doing something right since my last weigh in and was down 1.5lb! So one more pound and I am back to where I was three weeks ago before I started gaining. 

The class was very inspiring and it made me realise where I have been going wrong.  I had been so successful because I was tracking everything I ate. 24 / 7. And I had stopped doing that. Allowing myself to have a sneaky snickers or a crunchy crisp and then ignoring it.  

Novembers goals are in place: 

I want to loose 8lb by the end of the month 

If I bite it, I will write it 

Jillian Michaels 30 day shred 

Water Water Water 

And most importantly, a clean and shiny aura for the rest of the month!! 

I am all set for the coming days with my zero point soup made and my meals planned out. My wee slow cooker will be my savior I think!! 

Here's to an excellent week ahead!

Halloween horror

It's all hallows eve and I am horrified... not by ghosts and ghouls and scantily clad ladies, but by my total lack of "spirit" for the occasion...

Flicking through Facebook and looking at all the amazing efforts that kids and parents alike have gone to, it's made me realise that I need to up my game.

I did not dress my Dolly up today.  Nor did I dress up. Nor did I have the deceney to even open the door to trick or treaters. Instead, I left a bucket of sweets on the door step with a note saying don't knock, baby sleeping, help yourself. And it wasn't a lie. She was asleep since 630pm...

Next year I vow to get into the season that is Halloween and not sit on my couch drinking wine....

Facebook has shamed me...

Motherhood, what I was not prepared for

When I embarked on the roller coaster ride that is Motherhood, I knew that there were many things in my life that would change, and sacrifices would have to be made. I was prepared for the additional expense that comes with the Baba, things like the expensive baby digerie-doos that you are sure you need but never use in the end, the updating of wardrobes every 3 months, the toys that develop all sorts of wonderful cognitive and intelligent ways in your Baba.  I was prepared to give up on my impulsive social life. I accepted that my body was going to change and that I would probably never be able to do another jumping jack again without a little bit of wee coming out.

I also knew that sleep was going to be elusive and something that would come and go. I realised that the perfect night would change from dinner and dancing to just being able to sleep for 12 hours straight.  I anticipated many worried nights checking on breathing and looking after her if she was ill.  I even embraced the cris crossed stretch marks that scatter across my mummy tummy - to a degree.

But in all the books I read preparing me for motherhood, all the preparation I did, not once did I hear or read that I would have to say goodbye to ever seeing the bottom of my laundry basket, ever again.  I swear to God I don't think my washing machine has ever seen as much action as it has in the last 18 months.  It's constant.  Every time I get close to the bottom the clothes decide to mate and produce clothes babies and I am right back where I started.  It is MOUNTAINOUS! I have not once been able to get on top of it in the whole entire time I have been a mother.

So today I morn the loss of an empty laundry basket and embrace the constant and ever present view of my jam packed and overloaded clothes horses and pray every night that my washing machine doesn't just die on me from sheer overwork and under pay....

Week 11; The Result

Life is so busy at the moment.  When I got home from my class I was running around getting food prepared for the next couple of days, combating tantrums and licking my wounds. So I never got round to posting.

I was up 1.5lb. I am not going to lie, I was very disappointed.  I seem to be on a downward tragectery at the moment. Everything feels like it is up in the air with all the travelling I have been doing, and even as I type this, I know that I am just making excuses for myself. I am slowly regaining all that I have worked so hard for and it is frustrating.  When I am away, it's so hard to concentrate on what I am doing with regard to food.  It is all eating out, but, if I am totally honest, I am not making the best choices.  I know that I am so busy with work that I am not eating at the right times so that when it is time to sit down I am ordering the wrong things to fill the gap.  And I am emotional eating too. Which is never a good thing.  Being away from home and my family and the stress that causes is triggering emotional eating.

All of the above are just excuses, excuses, excuses!! I need to get my finger out and really make a fool proof plan for my up and coming trips... What do you think the likelihood is of me getting my jaw wired shut???

Even with all my excuses, there is one thing that hasn't changed, I want this.  I want  to be healthier and feel happier and in control.  I never want my daughter to learn self loathing from me.  I want her to learn that she is gorgeous no matter what size she is, and that as long as she's happy and healthy, then that's OK.

I have the week under control.  My slow cooker is working overtime this week and I love it! Chicken Korma for dinner. Prawns and Quinoa for lunch today.  Zero point soup made and packed with me for snacking on throughout the day and I have lunch prepared for tomorrow.

I am going to move more and eat less and just go back to basics and get this week kickstarted so that I loose what I have gained!

Weigh Day; Week 11

It is weigh day again. I can't believe how quickly the weeks are going by!! It's the end of Week 11 and while I was away, I was getting a little bit disheartened by how I have slowed and my focus feels all over the place the last couple of weeks.  I know that it is mostly down to travelling and not being in my usual routine, and I am very hopeful that the travel is coming to an end, and soon.  But this week is brighter and more positive for a number of reasons.  Firstly, because I do not have to step foot outside the country for the week. Yay me! I get to spend all my time at home with Himself and Herself! It makes me happy.

Because I have not been in the driving seat with my food prep, I have decided that it is best to focus all my energy on my NSV's this week and ignore what the scales says to me. These are my NSV's this week:

1. My wedding rings are swinging around like a pair of bangles on my fingers! Delighted with that. Wonder should I plug for a new bridal set and get the aul eternity ring included?
2. I put on a pair of long boots I wore last winter and there is room in the leg.  Last year, I had to rub vaseline into the zip in order to get it to close easily over my baby cows (calves, you get it?) and when they did close, lets just say I am doubtful about the amount of blood that actually made it down to my toes! I had rings around the top of the baby cows for days after wearing them! 
3. I am feeling so good in myself.  As I mentioned last week, travelling is getting me down a bit.  Before I started this journey I would have spiraled into a bleak and horrible mood and just eaten everything in front of me, and behind me, and beside me, heck, if you stood still long enough I would probably have taken a lump out of you too! 
4. I can move further for longer and faster than I have ever been able to do. This makes me happy! 

Regardless of what the scales tells me, I know I am making lasting and happy changes in myself.

Thought for Today is: 

Kindness to ourselves is the only way we are going to complete this journey successfully. 

This weeks stats include: 

Not bad going so far is it? I'm 20k steps off my goal for this week, but there is time to make some of that deficit up before bed today! 

Finally, some of my meals this week: 

My new slow cooker is my favourite new toy! It has produced Mozzarella Stuffed Meatballs and Pork Goulash. They were both amazing!! My Homemade Granloa is an amazing breakfast or just as added crunch to a 0% fat greek yougart!! 

Here's to a happy week this week and, hopefully, a more successful scales week next week!! 

London Bound.... again

Yes! For the third time in as many weeks I am bound for London. The novelty of this travelling has well and truly worn off. Apart from hating the airport wait, my Dolly punishes me something cruel when I return to her. Last week, after three days away from her, myself and Himself went to pick her up from creche. In I walked, fully prepared for the onslaught of her aggressive brand of toddler love, only to be completely side stepped and ignored in favour of himself. The little rip wouldn't even come to me. It cut me deep!

The following morning, selflessly foregoing my Saturday lie on to spend some quality time with my Dolly, she had a stage three tantrum because I wasn't her bloody Daddy. So, in what was most definitely not a proud parenting moment, I resorted to bribery with food...

Then last night, while she was upset and needing comfort,  for the first time in her 18 months on this earth, she rejected my ample bosom - which is perfect for a little head to cuddle into, in favour of Himself 's hard and bosom - less man chest. Disgusted doesn't even cover it. I left them to it and had a little cry into my chamomile tea and crochet needle.

This working away malarkey is playing havoc with my position as my Dolly 's favourite person. It's not on at all. The only thing for it is to purchase her love and affection... I'll need a bigger suitcase coming home so that I can fit all the useless crap I'm gonna buy her to secure myself as top dog in her affection leagues.  Thankfully this is the last trip for a couple of weeks so I'm sure I'll have recovered well from the next round of rejection and punishment by then.  Anyone who thinks toddlers don't know what they are doing, needs to spend a of couple hours with mine to learn a thing or two! Lovely little rip that she is!!!

Weigh Day, Week 10; The Result

I'm not skipping home let me tell you. I am up 1lb this week.  I knew that It wasn't going to be great, and it could have been a lot worse! I am taking the gain and dusting myself off and carrying on into next week.

This travelling to London is just playing havoc with the scales for me.  The travelling and my inability to say no to a night out. But mostly the travelling, because I figure if I wasn't travelling, I wouldn't have the opportunity to dance my socks off till 4am of a Thursday morning!

I am going to focus on all the NSV's this week and next week to get me over the hurdle of the travelling I need to do.  I measured myself when I started this process, and again at 4 weeks into it.  Last night, knowing that the scales was going to be brutal to me, I measured again, just to remind myself that there is more to weight loss than just the number on the scales.  I discovered that since my last measure 4 weeks ago, I have achieved this:

So even though the scales is not telling me what i want to hear, the inches on that measuring tape is making up for it. My total inch loss in the last 10 weeks is:

Bust: 1.5 inches
Waist: 1 inch
Hips: 1 inch
Thighs: 1.5inches
Arms: 1.5 inches

That's not really to be sniffed at.

I am going in to this week with a battle plan.  I will be back in London Wednesday, Thursday and Friday so I need to be as prepared as possible for the week ahead.

Himself bought me a lovely present yesterday. He bought me a slow cooker and I am dying to get home and get trying it!  Who says romance is dead eh? It may not sparkle, or fit on a finger or around a neck, but it made me very happy... anyone with some good slow cooker recipes to share, please send them on in and I will get cracking on them!

Weigh Day - The Result Week 9

Good Lord I don't know where the evening went yesterday, but it skidded by me at a thousand miles an hour and I never got around to posting! 

So I went back to my class last night after my week of MIA.  It took me until Thursday to get back into the swing of things and get working on some damage control after my Old School Boozy Weekend.  And thank God I did, because I stayed the same this week! Yay.  I really knew that if I had gone to class last Monday after my hectic weekend and gained, it would have thrown me right off.  Throughout the earlier part of the week I was full sure that I was starting to loose all focus, but a swift kick up the jacksie got me moving again.  

I have posted the above because sometimes I need to remind myself to be happy, and also, when I am happy, remind myself to tell my face, because it doesn't always receive the message!  Yesterday was spent basically preparing my family for me to leave them for three days, return for two days and leave them for a further three days.  Travelling back and forward to London is starting to take its toll on my patience.  I have gone from a stay at home Mama, to a part time working Mama to a Mama that seems to leave the country every two weeks, and I'm not loving it.  Sure, the uninterrupted sleeps are amazing.  And it is nice to be able to sit and eat a meal without fear of it being thrown all over me (well, fear of someone else throwing it all over me, I have a tendency to be a bit of a sloppy eater).  And there is a lot to be said for the comfort of going to the loo without "what's that" being shouted at my lady garden. The thing is, motherhood wasn't unexpectedly gifted to me.  It was a gift I went out looking for. It is a gift that I really really wanted, so fecking off for three days a week a couple of times a month is not giving me a chance to want to be away from that gift, ya know what I'm saying?  The novelty of no Dolly has well and truly worn off.  All of these thoughts made me very sad yesterday.  I actually felt like crying. I went to bed with a cup of tea and had a little pity party for myself. 

I got up this morning bright as a button though, full of positivity and ready for the week ahead and the challenges it will present.  I am prepared and have a plan in place for what's going to happen next week and I have my moving goals and weightloss goals set.  I am aiming for 2lb next week so I have got to get a wriggle on! 

Here's to a good week to everyone! Enjoy 

Motivation - That Fickle Little Rip

I have been thinking about how motivated I had been over the last nine weeks. Everything had clicked into place and I was powering through the weight loss without a struggle to be seen.  I was moving more and more every day and feeling on top of the world about myself, how I look, what I was doing and how committed I was (am). But then last week came along and old habits, that I have worked very hard to change, began creeping back in.  Too tired to move, too busy to cook, too..... (insert excuse here). Suddenly, all mojo has up and left me and I am happy to sit on the couch, or ignore the early morning call to get a few extra steps in.  The baby is not well, sure no time to cook. Busy busy busy.

I promised myself that I would not allow my excuses to hold me back this time.  I swore that I would be bigger than any excuse I could muster up and that I would not stand in my own way again. Thankfully, my lack of motivation hasn't last this whole entire week, and I am feeling on top of it all again.  I have also noticed that even though I have gone off track, I'm not killing myself with unkindness.  Instead I am looking at the bigger picture of this journey I am on, and I am allowing myself a couple of stumbles along the way in order to make it there in one piece (mentally and physically).  And I think the reason that I haven't spiraled out of control is because I am working so very hard on how I perceive myself and the things I think and say to myself.

So here's a couple of things that have helped me get myself back to where I need to be...

Photos I am a snap happy person.  I used to be called Tagger O'Toole, but then I got married, changed my name and had a baby so I was less likely to be out in the pub at 1am taking snaps of all the shenanigans and more likely to be walking the floors using my phone as a flash light so I could see what I was doing without actually turning on the lights and fully waking the baby!  But, back in my Tagger days, I have hundreds and hundreds of photos of myself that are absolutely not flattering in any shape or form. I see these photos now and marvel at how the girl on print never matched the one in my head... This week, I got a pop up of a memory on Facebook, which was a photo of me from 2009.  Apparently back then I not only needed to loose a lot of weight, it also would have been useful to introduce me to a decent hair straightener, some moose and a make up lesson or two... but that's not the point.  The point is, when I saw that picture I realised that I have actually come a very long way from the girl I was, not just physically, but mentally too. Comparing a then and now made me very protective of the weight I have lost and made me excited about getting to where I need to be.

Keep a Diary. Not just a food journal.  When I came back to weight watchers, I made myself a couple of promises, and one of them was to track my food and to write a diary about my day. And that's what I have been doing. Every day (or most anyway) I write a plan for the following day, what food I'm  going to eat and what exercise I am going to do and then leave a space for how it went and how I felt. It's been helpful to look back on this information.

Get adventurous. It can be so boring loosing weight.  I find that I get a couple of recipes going and then I end up just sticking with them. Then I get bored and I make bad choices. When I'm feeling demotivated I get my books out, I go on line and make myself try at least one new dish a week.

Check your thoughts. I know, I go on and on about the power of Positive Thinking. But it really works.  I was recently out with my best friend who told me that the transformation in me over the last couple of weeks is amazing.  I am less stressed, less likely to be bogged down in the little things and so much happier than I have been in a long time.  I didn't even know that I was that unhappy until I started to feel this happy!

This journey is a long one. And it can be a lonely one, particularly if you are to beat yourself up and treat yourself unkindly along the way. Find a reason to be proud of yourself every day and keep trying until that motivation kicks back in for you.  No matter how big a cheerleading squad you have standing behind you, the support you give yourself is the really the only thing that will make sure you succeed.

Birthday's, Benders and Babies

Let's start from the beginning...

After a couple of days in Lovely London, I came home to my wonderful Little Aussie and her Mum and Aunt visiting. So, being the hospitable person I am, I invited them all over for a bit of dinner and a sociable drinkie-pooh. And by sociable, I mean very sociable. I absolutely took advantage of Super Valu's 3 bottles of french wine for €25, in fact, not only did I take advantage of it, I abused the bejaysus out of it.  By all rights, I should have been curled up in the fetal position begging for a Priest to give me my last rights on Saturday morning, but I wasn't. I got up bright as a lark and  thirsty as desert dweller, but I made soup and porridge bread (which I must have made wrong cause it was rank) and I made a lovely dinner for that evening, to provide soakage for round 2.  Yes, you heard me correctly, round 2.  Before going out on Saturday evening I did a bit of shopping and bought a pair of jeans one size smaller than usual. I  didn't end up wearing them out though until round 3... For round 2, I slipped on a pair of mint green skinny jeans.  These jeans are super significant. The last time I wore these I wasn't even a married woman! Oh no. They were purchased for wearing the night before I became a wife. And not only did they zip, they fit! I felt amazing. And so happy with myself for all my hard work.

Here I am looking very pleased with myself!

And, not only was I in pre-wedding jeans, I was in pre-pregnancy shoes too!! I have loads of lovely shoes that do not fit since I got pregnant, but apparently I am getting skinny feet as well as cheek bones! 

I headed off out into the night with my girlies and I had an absolute ball for myself. I didn't rock in until 4am. I danced the feet and legs off myself, accumulating 5,888 steps between 12am and 4am - impressive footwork for sure! And once again, I fully expected to be pleading for death by firing squad when I woke up, but I was grand! Which was great, cause I had to get ready for round 3... And round three was a scream! Out for the Dubs, well, I won't say that I was out FOR the Dubs, cause anyone who knows me knows I could care less about football and all that business, but I was out because of the Dubs and had another kicking night. With no hangover! So apparently, turning 33 means no hangovers, hurray! 

Because of this PMA and bag of aura cleansing material I am carrying around with me these days, my three day bender did not leave me with a bad dose of the Fear and a mountain of negative thoughts! Instead, I took my crazy weekend for what it was, a once off blow out, I dusted myself down and fell asleep on the couch on Monday evening, like the Nana I truly am, before heading to bed at 8am to sleep soundly for a good 12 hour stretch. Refreshed and ready to make it to a weight watchers class Tuesday evening.

But alas, it was not too be! Because Tuesday was spent nursing a very very sick little baby. One that had lots of high temps and needed lots of cuddles and comfort and antibiotics and nurofen and water and just anything at all to relieve her pain and discomfort. My Dolly has tonsillitis again. The poor little divil spent all of Tuesday and Wednesday pretty much curled up on my lap. No more partying... instead it was preparing bags in case we had to go to the hospital with her and trying to get her temps under control.. See why high jinx and baba's don't mix!

Holly's Bed Time Bed Fellows 

Birthday's aren't the same as the were pre-baba days - not that my liver would agree with you after the weekend I had. It was such a stressful couple of days with my poor sick girl that I didn't really think too much about the day itself. Until I was given a birthday present to beat all birthday presents.  Himself was very good this year, really out did himself by giving me my very own designer baby that is to be kept very far away from the real baby...

The celebrations are over, my mojo is back, I'm moving again and tracking again and I am going to make up for lost time this week with loads of soups and low point meals. I am looking forward to my weigh day on Monday.

This is me at 6.30am this morning after sweating the face off myself for 40 mins! 

Operation Skinny Bitch is back in action after a brief hiatus! 

Weigh Day; The Result for Week 7..

I had an early weigh day this week because I am in London again on Monday. So I returned to a class that I haven't been to in a very long time. The last time I was in the Pavilions class I burst into tears on the scales and retreated into a 16 month long bubble of denial, cruel thoughts and personal neglect.  Today, I approached the scales so bloody hungover that I didn't have a chance to even think about it! I am literally the most hungover I have been since The Child was born. 

So I hopped up on that scales and for the first time in seven weeks, it beat me. I gained half a pound.  This would usually send me spiraling into an abyss of junk fueled negative thinking.  I would normally present a number of excuses for my gain such as; not my usual class, only five days since my last weigh day, the scales at the Pavilion Shopping  Center hates me and wants to depress me etc. etc. But I promised myself this time that I would be bigger than my excuses. So I have none. I went out last night and drank my weight in wine and even did a shot of Sambuca like I was a bloody 18 year old again. I can't do those things any more, I should have more sense.  I also have  been a little bit too cocky this week and have started to let my motivation slip. So I definitely deserve that kick in the backside. 

All in all, the gain could have been much worse, so I just need to shake it off and get back in the middle of zone instead of hanging about on the edges of it pretending I'm getting stuck in! I have until Monday week to loose my gain and then some.

Preparation is key! Traveling to London will be a hurdle but not one I can't get over.  I will do what I did the last time I was over and stick to low pointed breakfasts, salads for lunch and then dinner can be healthy choices.  Being in London is great because you can walk the legs off yourself (and if you get lost, which I will, it only increases your steps!) 

So half a pound is not the worst result in the world. I am looking at the bigger picture here.  Although I did gain, I still feel great about how far I have come in 7 weeks.  The changes I have made, and the way I feel cannot be measured on a scales.  Going out last night I felt amazing, with a lot of help from Himself.  I put on the Guna that I recently found I could fit into, but I nearly chickened out of wearing it. I had a dip in my confidence, but Himself came up and saw me and said that I was a lovely girl and that I wasn't to change into something else.  So, seeing as he loves me, I decided to take his word for it and ran away from the full length mirror so that I couldn't see myself anymore and talk myself out of the dress and into my boring old jeans and top.  After his little pep talk, I felt much more confident and headed off into the night to drink too much wine and die a holy death this morning! 

Now, I'm off to get organised for dinner. Fake-away tonight! I'm going to treat myself with some Diet Coke Chicken and Fried Rice  I'll have to add a couple more points onto the recipe for the fried rice, but feck it, it'll be worth it!

Have a great week everyone!

The Weekly Result; This Roller coaster is only going up...

And by up, I mean the weight is just going down!I have lost another 2lb this week.  I'm not going to lie,  I got nervous hopping up on that scales because of the crazy sugar monster that took over my willpower earlier in the week. But all of my moving has paid off, because I lost another 2lb!I am 0.5lb off 10lb. That's a dress size! An almost dress size in 6 weeks! This has never ever happened in all the time I'm weight watching. I am so pleased.

And, to add some sugar free icing on top of my low fat weight watchers desert... I FINALLY fit into a guna  (dress) that has been laughing at me for over 18 months from the back of my wardrobe. And not just it zips fits, oh no, actual fits and is appropriate viewing for the general population! So, after 18 long months keeping my wardrobe warm, it will keep me warm for a night out on Friday night.

Here's to a great week to everyone!

Weigh Day - Week 6 The Toughest One so Far

It's a new week, the end of Week 6 and I am looking forward to the start of Week 7.  The start of this week was tough for me. I had to force myself to get into the swing of things, and my sweet cravings were the highest they have been since Week 1! But I managed to remain on track and force myself to get up and get moving. By Wednesday I had gotten back into the swing of things, the sugar monster within me had quietened down and the couch potato had fallen fast asleep so could no longer badger me into joining her for a Home and Away marathon.  All that being said, I have still managed to rack up a pretty impressive 75,298 steps this week.

I have worked out every single day for at least 30 mins bar three days in the last 6 weeks.  This is the most working out I have ever done, in my life, and in fairness, I have only had to force myself to do it about five times.  The weight loss (and inches ) has been consistent.  It is the first time I have ever managed to achieve this amount of loss in such a short space of time and I am contributing it to my hard work, but most importantly, my frame of mind.  The more I work on the negativity that creeps into my mind, the better I seem to be getting.  I can't stress it enough to anyone who is on this journey, your frame of mind has as big an impact on that scales as any amount of food or movement you do.  Work on this as well as your body!! 

I've had loads of lovely meals this week. Smoked salmon is my addiction of choice. I literally cannot stop eating the stuff. I love it with avocado and tomato on toast. It is such a lovely, colourful breakfast or lunch. It's pleasing on the eye and the tastebuds, let me tell you!!! 

I will be so happy if I can continue my loss and loose 1lb tonight. If I don't, it's ok too because I am feeling brilliant. My energy levels are really high, my attitude is really positive and I am in a more consistently happy mood now than I have been in a very long time! I even have patience to deal with a newly toddling toddler and her stage 5 tantrums when I go to change her bum... 

Here's to a good weigh day, and another successful week! 

Week 4 of my 12 week challenge

I decided to start a 12 week challenge on the 11 August 2015 which would bring me up to 2 November 2015. The aim is to loose 21lb by that date and track in a 12 Week Journal everything I eat and how I feel. It's going well. I haven't missed a day yet.

I took my measurements at the start of this challenge and decided I would retake them at the end.  But I'm impatient, so I took them just now.

In 4 weeks I have lost 7.5lb, but I have also lost;

0.5 inches from my waist
0.5 inches from my hips
1 inch from my bust
1.5 inches from thighs
1 inch from my arm

At this rate I'll be able to stop carrying around that fire extinguisher every where I walk! The Chub Rub is less likely to set me alight!!!!

Here's to Non-Scale Victories!!!

Thought for Today (and tomorrow and forever and ever...)

Changing my life... one positive thought at a time!!!

It's Friday at last!

It's been one heck of a week. Every goal I have achieved so far this week has  been hard won.  The urge to lie on my couch and eat a six pack of monster much, 3 bags of tangtastic jellies and an airport toblerone has been a difficult one to resist. A very difficult one. I have been tempted by the two McDonalds I drive past on my home. That's right, there's two. And there drive in's too. Drive in’s are feckin lethal for me. You see, in my head, anything I eat while in the car or driving is calorie free, because I don’t pay attention to what I’m actually eating and I can ‘forget’ that it happened just by throwing the wrappers in the bin outside the house. So yesterday, as I was approaching the danger zone I decided, feck it, I’m having a Big Mc Meal.  Then, for the first time ever, I decided that I would investigate just how much that big mc would cost me. 22 ProPoints for the meal. So I said no way. Then as I approached the next set of lights I thought, well sure I could take it out of my weeklies couldn’t it, feck it, I will. But, as I approached the turn to go away from the drive thru or head straight for it, I took the turn away from it. No, what if I want to have something really nice at the weekend, like Wine, or chocolate, or wine and chocolate. I’m not wasting points on that crap.

Danger zone 1 successfully averted.  But I still had one more danger zone to navigate. I knew that if I drove towards that second drive thru there would be no way I’d pass it, so I did something really bold, something that won’t jeopardise my weight, but may possibly jeopardise my clean licence… I took an illegal turn and scooted off up the road in the opposite way to the second danger zone towards the safety of my house! Yay me, although very bold for breaking the law. I would have explained the precarious position I was in to a Garda if I was stopped. I am full sure he would have understood that the severity of the situation.

So on we go to the weekend. I am not too worried about it because I have a nice relaxing time planned with my family.  We have only just settled down into the swing of things after me being away from London. My little Dolly decided that she would teach me a lesson for going away and leaving her for nearly a week by suddenly starting to walk all by herself and fed herself. In your face mam, she says, you leave me, I’ll just grow up too quickly on you!! It was a happy day when she started walking by herself on Monday. I nearly caused her to fall down with the screech of delight that I let when I turned around to find her following me up the hall!!

I have completed 35,846 steps of my 83,000 so I am well on my way to achieving my goal by Monday.  I am determined to achieve this weekly goal. I will not be beaten! I am back to feeling like I want to this, not just that I have to.  This weight loss journey business is a funny one.  No matter how much you would just like it to go from A-B in a straight line, it is generally a squiggley up and down and all over the place mess of road!! 

Have a good weekend all x

Weigh Day; The Result

Oh my goodness. I have such a busy busy evening and morning since I got weighed that I haven't had a minute to update you all... wonderful news to be shared. In absolute record time for me, I have shed a grand total of 7.5lb in 5 weeks. Completely unheard of! That never happens. I have lost consistently over the last 4 weeks and had only one maintain on Week one. I normally loose 1, gain 6, loose 0.5, gain 3 - you get the picture! I lost another pound last night and I swear to God I am so very proud of myself!!!

New month now. New goals to be achieved. My goal of 81k steps continues to evade me... I made it to 79,500 steps in the last week. I just couldn't do the last 1,500. I am raging now because I am meant to be bigger than my excuses! But it's past, I'm moving on.

This month's goal is another 7lb loss by 30 September. I am going to achieve this by getting back on my tracker and really using that tool. I'm also planning on increasing my daily steps by 500 so that I achieve 83,000 steps next week. It's a challenge,  but I will do it! I need to keep building on this momentum and my PMA!

I celebrated my loss with a workout and a cup of tea!

Here's a pic of me and my shiny silver seven

Weigh Day: Week 5 - Travelling Mama, Walking for Weight Loss and Terrible Tantrums

It's the end of Week 5 of Operation Skinny Bitch and it has gone relatively well.  The mobile stats look good, but I am not entirely sure the output will negate the input, if you get my meaning!!

Being away from home for the four days was difficult. For all my chat and excitement for my baby free time, it was not easy to spend so much time away from her and Himself and I was so excited to get back in to their loving embrace, that was until my little Dolly decided that she would punish me for her abandonment by launching into a level five tantrum that shook the house to its very foundations.  Hell hath no fury like a toddler who cannot wear her leggings on her arms, let me tell you that! For a full 35 minutes she lay on the floor and howled like she was being murdered. I must admit, I admire her dedication and commitment to her cause and it gives me great hopes for a bright and successful career in the future. But my goodness; it was a sight to behold.  By the end of the 35 minutes, she pulled her tear stained, sweaty little head off the floor, crawled up into my lap and lay on my shoulder rubbing my face saying "sssh sssh sssh". We were exhausted, mildly traumatised and relived that the (many) moment(s) had passed.  She returned to her loving little self and was all smiles and hugs and kisses from then on... while the fear of a repeat performance mounted in the pit of my stomach at the thought of having to change her bum! That was my punishment for being a Travelling Mama...

Here's hoping a frustrated drama queen is the only punishment I will receive for my break from the norm! I have asked my WW Leader to talk extra nice to her scales.  I was quiet good, but definitely had a little more than a tiple or two! I didn't go wild, like usual, but I am definitely not as confident about tonight's weigh in as I have been in previous weeks.  I am going for my silver seven. I need to loose 0.5lb to achieve this. It's so hard to have confidence in your choices when you have no control over what is going into them.  Eating out a lot is difficult. I did make some very good choices, I also made some not so good ones too - Doritos, I'm looking at you... but for the most part I kept breakfasts to fruit and yogurts and lunches to salads without the dressings so that I could be a bit more relaxed about my dinner and enjoy a glass of two of wine.

But I walked! I moved and I move and I moved. I set my self a goal of 81k steps by bed time tonight. I have 11,212 steps to go to make this goal. That's not a bad achievement if I do say so myself.

It's easy to rack up the steps in London. You practically walk everywhere, except the first day when your sense of direction fails you and you end up getting the tube to the next stop. It took longer to get down into the tube station, buy a ticket, wait for the tube, get on it, get off it and go back up to the street than it would have if I had walked, but I didn't know where I was going and looked like a fool walking up and down the road afraid to commit to a direction!!! 

Here's my stats so far this week... It's hard not to feel a little bit confident that I will achieve my goal when I look at them, but I am afraid to get cocky... 

Week 6 is about to start. Every week my confidence in myself grows and grows. And with that, so does my pride in myself.  I have made the decision to change my life, and I am not using excuses to stop me from doing this. My mantra again this week; the scales is not a true reflection of the effort I have put in.

All the same, if  you could send a few feather light thoughts my way I'd be ever so grateful!!!